bills bills bills

Not having school loans is hard, you know? I am continually just working my brains out to meet the dang Moody payment plan payment every month and well, it's becoming quite exhausting. Actually it's already been exhausting. So since I am a whopping 21 years old, and entering into my senior year my parents have informed me they no longer will be paying the half of my school bill. Ultimately I will be getting loans, this last year of college...how much is still pending. This was quite shocking but the Lord was quick to comfort me-because he always provides. I proceeded to apply for a scholarship from the school in hopes that I would receive it.

On Thursday I got a phone call claiming I had not gotten the scholarship and that it had been given to someone else.

Why? Why don't I ever get chosen for these sorts of things. How come I have to pay so much to be at a tuition-free school. Why doesn't the Lord show up in big ways and just send a big fat check right down from heaven. I am tired. I am sick of letting money rule my life and operating so intricately around it.

Today I recieved a phone call from my precious Grandmother-she said it was urgent. I was expecting a card game of  Rumi or some new way to make ice tea for me to try, instead she greeted me at the back door, waiting in anticipation. Her bright blue eyes and wrinkled smile winked at me.. "I have something for you."

Usually when she says that it is a comestic bag she found at the dollar store or foot scrub for the shower. Not this time. She reached behind her back and handed me an envelope. As I smiled at her I opened it...pulled it out and stared at all the numbers that were before  the decimal point. Wow. The check was for the exact amount that my scholarship I hadn't received was worth.

Jesus, thank you for working through my sweet Grandmother. I don't know why I doubt you. You ALWAYS have provided for me. And I beleive you will continue.