I feel like every summer I arrive back at these conclusions about the gospel. Literally every summer I struggle with the gospel, have questions about the gospel, don't live in the gospel, and wonder...who in my life is getting it. Who is living in the freedom of Christ? Who is living in a way in which they are solely defined by their creator and are living for none other than that?
I have had a hard time finding this in myself-as well as others.
Last night I sat with my friend Emily and had this conversation. It was after mid-night, but we proceeded outside anyway. We found a side-walk, laid down and picked apart our messy lives that are clearly not defined in the gospel. It's interesting this way of life into which we have been trying to cram our sinful nature into. This way of life in terms of "I will never be able to do anything to earn Christ's love or acceptance" or "how come I can't feel God's grace in a tangible way, when He's promised it."
I have been a Christian for all these years, yet I am continually seeking approval of others (most of the time in ministry situations!) to fill this void and to be built up. When will I get it and just forget about everyone else. I am working on pushing everyone else out of this relationship with my Jesus-and maybe then it will be us, and I will content with only His definition of me...and all the written promises He has shown me will jump off the page and into my life.
He is continuing to speak to me in instructing me to dwell on true things in His word...even when other things are messy.